The Bitchiest Thing I have ever Done

happened Tuesday, and you all know about it.

I told Roomate that her move upset me. I told that I couldn't believe she never talked to me. I asked her for an apology.

She refused, and I went off.

After I yelled at Roomate and threw a $750 check in her face to get her out by Saturday, I immediately regretted it. I regretted yelling at her because I'm not that type of person, so I went back into her room and apologized. I told her that I felt hurt. I told her that I didn't want her to move out. All I got in response was "ok." I told her she didn't have to be out by Saturday and she could take her time moving.

I also said she could still cash that check if she wanted because I just don't care anymore.

IDIOT!!

Still heated and distraught and stressed and upset, I took action and cancelled the check.

The next day I called the bank and they told me that it takes 24 hours for a stop payment to happen, so if she cashes the check it will go through. At that point I figured if she cashes the check, I deserve it.

Lucky for me, she didn't try to cash the check until yesterday.

After a very busy day in the OR, I checked my messages. Roomate had called to say that she tried to cash the check but the bank said there was a stop-payment. Whether it is a mistake or not, she'd like me to write her a new one.

The guilt fell on me immediately. I knew that even though I told her she could take her time, she absolutely wanted to be completely moved out by the end of the day on saturday. I knew that I should have told her I put a stop payment on the check.

But that's not why I felt guilty. What made me feel the worst was the fact that despite the complete bitchiness of my move, I just don't care. I am so numb to the whole situation. My feelings had been disregarded, and my anger got the best of me. I made a dick move and I don't feel bad about it.

Roomate confronted me when I walked in the door. I told her I changed my mind and she can take her time moving out. She pretty much had a heart attack. She told me that my behavior was appalling. She is going to put a lock on her door and let the landlord know.

I told her "ok"