Bankruptcy Revealed?

I was talking to my sister the other day and she asked me when I was gonna tell our parents about NotMexican's bankruptcy.

I told her that I didn't plan to. In fact, NotMexican wanted to spill his guts to my parents the first time they met and I told him not to. I didn't want them to judge him for being divorced and losing all his money because of it.

My sister told me it wasn't fair to our parents. What if we need them to cosign a loan in the future when buying a home.

I had thought about that, but I didn't plan on considering home buying for another 5 years.

I thought about it and agreed so I told NotMexican that we should sit my parents down and tell them everything. As if he didn't have enough stress on his plate, I just added a whopping chunk.

He got really upset (naturally), told me that he wasn't gonna say anything because I assured him it wasn't a big deal (true) and got angry with me for bringing it up suddenly (as he should).

Since it was such a big deal, both he and my sister suggested I tell my parents. I'm the one who started the drama, so I should take care of it.

And that's what I did last night.

We were at a formal dinner for the hospital and I found my dad in the corner hoarding food and drinks. I sat down with him and asked him what he thought of NotMexican.

He said he liked him.

I told my dad that I've made my decision. He replied, "I trust your decision."

I told my dad that NotMexican hasn't had the easiest life and because of it we will probably struggle financially. My dad said, "That's ok. Your mom and I struggled."

I asked my dad if he wanted to know why we would be struggling. My dad said, "I don't wanna know anything. I trust your decision. It's clear that NotMexican has struggled in his life just from talking to him and I think it's a good thing."

I asked him if was sure... He said he was sure.

I don't know what to say, but I'm just amazingly thankful.

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Bankruptcy Details

So some of you expressed concern in your comments on my last post and I wanted to write this post to assure you all that I did not suddenly throw my education out the window and go with love only.

NotMexican told me about filing for bankruptcy very early in our relationship. His ex-wife cheated on him, left him and took all of his money with her. (I'm sure karma will reap plenty of rewards on that).

Anyway, NotMexican has a fantastic lawyer helping him through this and my main concern is not so much the bankruptcy but what happens after and how it will affect me.

Will he get a good job in Boston? Will he get into law school? How will we pay for law school? How will his bankruptcy affect my credit, getting an apartment, etc etc?

I shouldn't be as concerned as he has been preparing for this, but I haven't. I've never not had money. I've never been in debt. I always have my parents to back me up should I need them.

As for the ring, well I knew where to go in Boston to get the best deal... and yes I paid for the ring. NotMexican has already paid me almost half-way back so I'm not concerned... and hopefully you guys won't judge that.

And as for marriage, it sure ain't gonna happen without counseling. I constantly have to reassure NotMexican that I won't cheat on him... and well you all know my track record with this blog... so clearly both of us need the counseling.

Basically, he is the guy for me. I'll never get to be a Real Housewife of Boston, but I will have a wonderful, hard-working, loyal, God-fearing husband.

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Freak-Outs

I would hope it's normal to have freak-outs when you're making a monumental decision.

The proposal was sooner than expected, so i don't think I was mentally prepared for what it means to be engaged.

All of my decisions are now affected by the realization that I have to think for "us" instead of "me."

It's a scary thing to accept this.

So naturally... I freaked out. And it happened at one of my best friend's weddings last week.

I asked NotMexican if he really loved me during the reception... and that upset him so much. Poor timing in retrospect, but I can't predict these things.

He reassured me, but I felt badly into the next day. Unfortunately that made our NYC trip the worst. I couldn't get over my freak out and then everything that could go wrong that day... did.

Everything ended poorly, resulting ultimately in an argument... and we parted, he back to Denver and I back to Boston, in anger.

Normally, that for me would mean the end of a relationship.

Luckily, it resulted in a fresh start.

We talked it out while I was on the greyhound back to Boston and had a great conversation agreeing to disagree and agreeing to work with each other.

I feel even better about our future now because we have excellent communication and make changes as we can to help each other out.

But I'm about to have my next freak out... his impending bankruptcy.

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Days to Come

I'll get a post up about the dog soon. I wanted to get pictures of her first and those are pending. In the meantime, much has transpired.

I've basically been spending every waking moment outside of the hospital with NotMexican. I move back to Boston in less than 2 weeks and it's finally starting to hit that we won't be able to see each other as often as we'd like.

Though we'll get a bit of a taste when my parents and sister arrive in 3 days. It's my birthday this weekend, so they're coming to celebrate that and father's day along with seeing colorado and helping me pack up to move back.

NotMexican will be at his brother's wedding, but then he'll meet the whole family on Sunday. I'm excited to introduce but I'm very nervous about it too.

It's funny because I've been coaching him a bit on Indian parents and his marketing professor (indian chick) has been coaching him as well. Both of us are basically teaching him how to sell himself to my parents.

Now I never wanted to ask NotMexican to lie... just use his future plans as his current truth. He is not to tell them that he finishing up undergrad at the age of 28. That, he is ok with.

But now... well today... he lost his job.

I am terrified to let my parents know any of this, because they will shoot me before they allow the man in my life to be the "cause" of struggles.

I know everything will be ok... but for now, I'm freaking out!

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Bankruptcy

I was out with NotMexican last week and we were randomly watching The Apprentice. He told me that Donald Trump has filed for bankruptcy twice in his lifetime. I was rather surprised as he's never been anything other than a billionaire to me.

The next time NotMexican and I were together, we were lying in bed and talking. He told me that he was testing me when he told me about Donald Trump.

ok????

I didn't quite get it until he revealed that he was filing for bankruptcy himself. I didn't know what to say because it just didn't make sense. He pays for everything when we go out. He seemed comfortable and set. I have no idea what filing for it means.

He also told me that while he is waiting for his tenants to move out of his house, he is living with his parents which is why he didn't want me coming over.

If this was any other guy, I think I would be more bothered. But I can also understand this is a tough time and it's embarrassing.

And I don't care. I think I love him.

I can't believe I just said that.

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"your treat?"

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this:

So I've gone out with a few guys here in Denver who have paid for the first date. I think it's chivalrous and noble... and frankly I expect it because it's the right thing to do. My future sons will know better than to ever let a woman pay.

On a couple of occasions, I have gone out with men who have let me pay for my portion of the meal. That is totally fine. He's automatically been put into the friend category. Do you see my point of view coming across even more now?

I don't mind when I'm friends with a guy to pay my way. I do mind when I'm dating a guy. Until we're official, I believe he should court me.

Now here's my biggest problem and I need you all to tell me if I'm going overboard. Regardless of the relationship status, isn't it tacky/offensive/atrocious for a man to flat out ask a woman "so you're gonna get the next bill right?" or "next one is your treat?"

I don't care what is the underlying reasoning. I know it's valid and correct, but it's just so off-putting.

I put this guy Freddie into the friend category after the first date because I just wasn't attracted to him. We hung out a couple times after that date as friends; grilling steaks, playing Wii, hanging out with his friends and family. 

This week has been busy and he told me to let him know when I was free next. So I told him I'm free next week, let's grab pizza. And he said "sure... your treat?"

Now last time we hung out, we grilled. He bought the meat, but I offered to take him out for ice cream. I know there's a big price difference, but I can't get over this.

A man should NEVER ask a woman to pay. If she offers and he allows it, that's one thing. But seriously?

I'm really angered by this and I just don't wanna see Freddie ever again. Am I in the wrong? Does anyone else get me?

I can tell you for sure that my father thinks I'm correct. 

Your thoughts?

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Dad's dating tips...

... stolen from MSN dating articles.

I've written about this before. My dad is obsessed with dating. He lives vicariously through me like a gossipy girl. When my mom disapproves of my behavior, dad usually loves it.

One of his favorite things to do is read MSN dating/relationship advice. Occasionally he emails an article to me and my sister.

This latest one had me cracking up, so I figured I'd share and offer my opinions as well.

Five Money Questions You Must Ask Your Man

1. How much do you make?
HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Ok I'm sorry, but this is a horrible question to flat out ask a guy until you're 100% sure he's the one. If you're smooth, like me, it will most likely come out in random conversation. My advice: If you wanna know, talk about your salary goals then ask his goals. At the very least you'll figure out what he's NOT making.

2. Got any debt?
HAHAHAHA. Ok not as funny as number one, but still. Debt is a sensitive topic for many people. Again, not something to bring up until it's time for marriage because only then will it matter. In the meantime here's my advice: Never date (for marriage) a doctor or lawyer who is within 5 years of graduation. Most graduate with about $200,ooo in debt unless their parents ponied up. In the meantime, let him wine and dine you because it's not your problem.

3. Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?
I like this question, but not on the first date. This is one that should wait until after the honeymoon period. Bail if he plans to go back to school without having a solid savings first.

4. Are we going dutch?
I've made my feelings on this very clear. His answer better be NO or this is the last time he gets to see me. At the same time, make sure he's cool with you being a working gal. It would suck if in the long run you'd have to ask him for money every time you wanted something.

5. How many kids?
HAHAHAHAHA. ok seriously, don't even come close to asking this question until you know there's a chance of a future. Sure kids are expensive, but I think it's better to want the same number of kids rather than worry about the cost of having them. I personally want 1 boy and 1 girl. I'd be happy with just 1 boy. I'd be in for a lot of trouble if I had a girl like myself... financially and emotionally.

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$$Hamptons$$

I learned on wednesday that everyone from Boston, except me cancelled on Sam's birthday in the Hamptons. I could not believe that close to 30 people RSVPed yes, and I'm the only one that actually came. 

I was feeling uneasy about how the weekend would go, but it turned out to be a blast.

After breakfast Friday morning, we hopped into a car and made the treck out into the depths of Long Island. The Hamptons house... fabulous. Pool, tennis court, basketball court, sandy volleyball court, pool table, foosball, etc. Tons of bedrooms and bathrooms.

I studied for a bit and then jumped in the pool. By 9pm, the house was filled with about 40 people. We got dressed and hit up Dune for the night. One of the guys hooked the house up with a table and bottles for the night. It was a lot of drinking, dancing on the seats and cheering as Sam turned 30 around midnight.

We headed home close to the club's closing and I slept until noon on Saturday. Brunch was a typical hungover, grease-fest for most people. Afterwards I studied, then we hit up a bar along the beach known for kicking the booze up a notch. That night, we went to Pink Elephant. 

The table was sponsored by Pedro. I'm sure he won't like his credit card bill come September since it cost him close to $2000, but I can assure you the rest of us didn't care. Pink Elephant is known for being one of the most expensive venues in the Hamptons, and the crowd made that very clear. Nearly every table was paid for by old men... surrounded by beautiful women more than happy NOT to pay a dime.

I had dreams of money when I went to bed that night. I woke up early on Sunday morning and got back to NYC with enough time to ride OleMiss before I headed back up to Boston.

Overall a fabulous time. 

HAPPY 30th SAM!!!

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Dependent and Depressed

I love money. I love my parents money. I know they have a lot of it, and I want it. Unfortunately, my obsession with their money has caused me to lead the worst life.

Simply. I hate my life.

In order to get my parents money, I have to do what they want. It sucks. I know it sucks. And yet I still do it. I have fooled myself into believing that I gain some control when I do.

I don't. What I gain are short-term, ultimately-unsatisfying superficial things: clothes, accessories, restaurant meals.

It's starting to really crash all around me. I'm not doing well in school because as much as I love working with people, I am not passionate about medicine. I keep hoping to find my niche, to find that field that is right for me, and I keep praying to God that genetics is my niche. If it isn't, I am screwed.

But I feel like everyone of my other classmates cares about ALL of medicine and I should too. The lack of passion shows in my exam scores, in the pimping done by attendings, maybe even in my clerkship. I'll find out when I get my final surgery grade and my mid-clerkship pediatrics evaluation.

The problem is that I am dependent on my parents. I never get their money unless I do what they want... and really I never get their approval and support unless I do what they want. In fact, I am so afraid I won't get their love unless I do what they want.

And that kills me. I don't know what I want and I don't have the courage to figure it out. For to figure it out means I risk their approval, their support and possible their love.

And so I go along with life making sure I get all of that... and that is all I know how to do.

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I can't screw over myself as a roomate

I've decided that I will most likely never go for a roomate situation ever again. In college, everything was fine and dandy. No fights, no worries.

But the second I moved to Boston and started living with strangers, I realized that having roomates can really suck. My first roomate was a great guy. We didn't have to hang out, but we had decent conversation and got along really well. I wasn't happy when he moved out, but I knew we weren't going to keep in touch.

My second roomate should have been my last roomate ever. She was very sweet, seemed to have her act together, rarely was around. Everything was peachy until the landlord called to say she hadn't paid rent in 2 months. I confronted her calmly, and she acted totally shocked and promised to send a check right away. When the landlord called to say the check bounced, I was worried.

Both of our names were on the lease and that meant BOTH of us were responsible for the rent. She moved out, promising to pay... she didn't. I actually had the balls to call her parents in Florida. The mother was flabbergasted, but of course nothing came of my futile attempt. My landlord is a really great and reasonable guy, so he cut the 3 months of rent owed down to $1200. Unfortunately, that came out of my pocket.

The New Yorker was my third roomate and another great guy. We got along, but never hung out and I was ok with that. I really hate his cat. When he left, I knew we'd probably only see each other in passing... and I was so thankful that cat was GONE.

When I met ex-roomate, I actually didn't like her right off the bat. She was really sweet, but I knew she was immature. I asked her to move in because I didn't want to judge her too quickly. She did a great job at getting me to like her, but little did I know she would turn out to be such a fake.

.........

I decided to switch the lock change to the end of next week. I really need to focus on ending surgery with a bang, and the last thing I want is more drama from her. She's refusing to pay her half of electricity until she sees the bill, which I already threw out. I knew she owed close to $30, so I made up a number.

My mistake when I immediately realized she would probably called NSTAR. Sure enough, the number I gave didn't match what NSTAR had for August, and if I expect her to pay I must call NSTAR to get a new bill for her to see.

F that. $30 isn't worth the hassle. I'm pissed at myself for making up a number, but I realize that the sooner ex-roomate is completely out of my apartment, the sooner I can put her into the "Does Not Exist" category of my past.

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Loosen up my buttons... uh huh

As the self-appointed queen of bargains, I'm still a snob about my clothes. At least I don't buy fakes...

A local boutique had their super sale, and I went immediately after work. I probably tried on 50 outfits, but I settled on three very select items totalling to almost 75% off. One item is this gorgeous summer/fall coat by Milly... originally $400.

We had a cool day in Boston and I had the opportunity to sport my new coat. At the end of the day I realized that one of the buttons was missing. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but as you all know I haven't had the best couple of weeks.

I went to Milly's website, emailed the two contact names I found and went off on them about my expectations on quality. It was completely immature and unnecessary, but I did it and can't take it back.

And to my surprise, one of them responded. She apologized for the inconvenience and put a replacement button in the mail for me.

I am very impressed with the prompt reply and action... but she sent me the wrong button.

I'm hoping the coat will look just fine without the last button. At this point I just don't have the energy to care anymore.

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Foodie for FREE

If there is anyone who can find the best deal, I am she. My friends say I'm all about the FREE. If I can get something for free, I will. If I can get the best deal, I will. If all else fails... I'll use someone else's money.

Sometimes I can use someone else's money to get a good deal later. I didn't quite realize it until I logged onto to Opentable.com to see if I could make a reservation for dinner.

I saw that I had accumulated over 5000 points, which means I have made enough reservations to earn a $50 restaurant gift certificate. Free meal!

I clicked on my profile to figure out how to redeem points and there was a list of my last 5 reservations. As I studied this list I felt amused because it pretty much acts as a date log. My last 5 reservation span over 5 months, and each one was a date with 5 different guys.


Olives with Redsox: I talk to him about restaurants all the time, and he keeps trying to find a place where I haven't yet dined. I chose Olives because he couldn't name a place I hadn't been. Best Ceasar salad in Boston.

Troquet with Indian Consultant: He wanted a sugar daddy relationship, but I found him incredibly boring. He doesn't drink either. I don't trust people who don't drink... especially when we're at my FAVORITE wine bar in the city.

Mortons with LV: He made it one step farther as a Sugar Daddy prospect, but I'm pretty sure that was a one shot deal. I appreciate the steak at Mortons... and the steak I had in Vegas.

Avila with Latrell: He was my older man. We dated for a few weeks, but the sex was awful. Avila is the sister restaurant to Davios, a place Latrell loves to get apres-work drinks. Same lay-out for both restaurants, but completely different cuisine. Way to work the twin thing.

Ruth Chris with a random CL date: A very nice guy, great conversationalist, but a serial dater... just like me. A One-date wonder who treated me to the best filet I've had in my life and my new favorite Pinot Noir (Laetitia Estate 2002).

Thanks to these 5 men, I accumulated 500 points on OpenTable. Their dime, my reward.

Now I'm going to use my $50 gift certificate to take out one of the fabulous chicks in my life.

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