Insomniac Advice needed

So the Insomniac would like to take me out to dinner again.

How do I politely decline?

Any advice on words that have worked for you?

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Not welcomed in Miami

So i hadn't told you guys too much about my internet dating, but I did join a sugar daddy website. I won't hold anything back. It is a fantasy of mine to be a trophy. The problem I have is that most men find my education to be rather intimidating.

I'll never understand why since most men complain that they want a good-looking woman with whom they can discuss almost any topic. Though I think that is simply their fantasy as well.

And how often does the fantasy become a reality?

My guess is next to never. 

I met G-miami on the sugar daddy website years ago. We chatted, but nothing ever happened. I cancelled my profile and went on with my studies. Since moving to Denver, I thought it might be fun to try the site again. This year, after all, is MY year to do as I damn well please.

G-miami found me on the site again and emailed. This time we started chatting on the phone and quickly made plans for me to go to Miami to meet him. 

I should have known from our phone conversations that we weren't going to work out. He was awkward on the phone and made stupid jokes. I hate it when people crack stupid jokes. 

He did look like his picture, but he was really short. He also didn't look as hot as I expected him to. He thought I was hot, better looking than my pics. 

He took me out to some nice restaurants. We had pretty good conversation, but all he talked about was my looks and how I'm as driven as his brother... and how he thinks his brother is an a$$hole.

Fabulous.

We slept in separate beds. He never made a move. And by the third morning he asked me if we were friends. I said sure. He said that he thinks it would be better if I left a day early since that was all we would be. And then he told me he had already changed my flight.

I was disappointed that we didn't connect, and the rest of my time with him actually ended up being more torturous as he continued to talk about my beauty and cling to me when he didn't even like to go out to drink and socialize. I ended up feeling like a baby-sitter.

I was so happy to get back to Denver Friday. I went out with Blondie and then had a great day tubing with friends on Saturday. 

Sometimes I think I should stick to meeting men at bars since I know they'll click with me just on the drinking/socialization alone. Sometimes I wonder if I should focus on myself and figure out why I do these crazy things I do.

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The Insomniac

Insomniac and I have been out on about 5 dates. He is really good-looking, very respectful and totally knows how to treat a woman. However he's slightly socially-awkward, a bit nervous all the time... and well... an insomniac. 

Nonetheless, I enjoyed going out with him. He knows good cuisine and always took me to great restaurants. Granted, we mostly talked about his medical issues but what kind of doctor would I be if I didn't listen to my patients... a radiologist you say?

Well Insomniac and I went out on our fifth date last night and he asked me for a kiss at the end of the date. I thought that was extremely gentlemanly of him, so of course I obliged. 

IT WAS THE WORST KISS.

I'm sorry, but he SHOVED his tongue in my mouth. I was so taken aback. I didn't know what to do other than to pull back a bit and force him to go slowly. BUT then he'd shove his tongue in my mouth again!

I quickly ended the torture and thanked him for the date. He asked, "maybe next time we could hang out a lot longer?" And desperate to get away I replied "yeah sure!"... enthusiastically. 

I felt kinda gross and decided I would pull the intern card from this day forth. I'm chicken-sh!t about brutal honesty, and would much rather take a nasty email than tell a guy he is the worst kisser in the world... or take the time to teach him. I have better things to do... 

like go to Miami tomorrow...

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Playing Hookey

I've never played hookey with a job in my life, mostly because I knew I'd get caught. Sure I've skipped school, but this is different.

I decided to play hooky for a few reasons:

1. I was looking at the work schedule today. There would be three students with me during the morning shift. The morning shift is dead, so I'd mostly be sitting around staring at the clock, begging to see a pateint. With 4 of us sitting around, I'd probably see a max of 2 people in an 8 hour period.

2. I actually add MORE work for the other docs. You see, I'm an intern, which means all of my decisions have to be approved by the chief. The chief has to see all of the patiients anyway. With me and three other students on his/her coat-tails, I would be more of a nuisance than an actual help.

3. I'm not compromising health care in any way by not being there. I'm actually losing out on my own education.... but I'm taking a day for myself.... a much needed day for myself.

I just tried to justify a terrible thing, but I'm fairly certain I'm not going to regret it.

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We weren't supposed to sleep together

So I made a new friend in my building. Let's call him MetroStevo. I met him through craigslist because he was new to the area and looking for new friends. Cool. I love new friends. We met, hung out and kept hanging out as "just friends."

I wanna make it clear that every time we went out, I paid for myself. Like I said in my last post, when I'm just friends with a guy I have no problem paying for myself. 

MetroStevo is very good-looking, but I wanted to try and only be hooking up with the Author. Plus I figured all was well when we just hugged at the end of every outing and went back to our respective apartments.

We went to Elways, a steak house, last week. It was a great meal, with great wine, lots of fun... I paid for myself. We proceeded to drink more at the bar and then at another bar in our building. Again lots of fun. We went back up to his place, where I've been before, to watch a movie. All was well, until I was officially wasted... and he was officially wasted. 

He pulled me up from my chair and asked me to sit with him on the couch. I think we made out. Actually we must have, because we definitely ended up in his bedroom. I know we had sex, confirmed by the empty condom wrapper in the morning... oh and me being naked.

I don't feel badly about having sex with him. I feel badly that I don't remember it. He has texted since the incident. We will be hanging out again. I'm not sure I want to sleep with him again, but I still want to hang out as friends.

Is this possible?

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"your treat?"

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this:

So I've gone out with a few guys here in Denver who have paid for the first date. I think it's chivalrous and noble... and frankly I expect it because it's the right thing to do. My future sons will know better than to ever let a woman pay.

On a couple of occasions, I have gone out with men who have let me pay for my portion of the meal. That is totally fine. He's automatically been put into the friend category. Do you see my point of view coming across even more now?

I don't mind when I'm friends with a guy to pay my way. I do mind when I'm dating a guy. Until we're official, I believe he should court me.

Now here's my biggest problem and I need you all to tell me if I'm going overboard. Regardless of the relationship status, isn't it tacky/offensive/atrocious for a man to flat out ask a woman "so you're gonna get the next bill right?" or "next one is your treat?"

I don't care what is the underlying reasoning. I know it's valid and correct, but it's just so off-putting.

I put this guy Freddie into the friend category after the first date because I just wasn't attracted to him. We hung out a couple times after that date as friends; grilling steaks, playing Wii, hanging out with his friends and family. 

This week has been busy and he told me to let him know when I was free next. So I told him I'm free next week, let's grab pizza. And he said "sure... your treat?"

Now last time we hung out, we grilled. He bought the meat, but I offered to take him out for ice cream. I know there's a big price difference, but I can't get over this.

A man should NEVER ask a woman to pay. If she offers and he allows it, that's one thing. But seriously?

I'm really angered by this and I just don't wanna see Freddie ever again. Am I in the wrong? Does anyone else get me?

I can tell you for sure that my father thinks I'm correct. 

Your thoughts?

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"No... I want you to stay"

And the confusion with the Author continues. I haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks. We'd make and break plans within minutes. Finally last night, we committed to hanging out. We went to see the movie Public Enemies, and I absolutely LOVED it.

Before I get to the rest of my night with Author, I gotta talk about this movie. First of all I love time period films, and this one was set in the 1930s. The clothes, the cars, the story was just wonderful. I think what captivated me the most was John and Billie's love. I couldn't believe his devotion and love for her. It was terribly romantic, and I hope that one day someone loves me like that. (Actually RedSox back in Boston does...) And I hope I can reciprocate.

The movie was almost 2.5 hours. We got outta the theater around 10:30 and headed back to the Author's apartment. We hung out for about an hour just playing with the dog and talking to his roommate, and then of course made our way to his bedroom.

Two weeks ago when we spent the entire day together and finished off with sex, Author told me he was uncomfortable having me stay over. It hurt, but I forced myself to think in the direction of friends with benefits. 

Last night, after sex, he got up to take his dog out to potty. I got up and got dressed. When he came back, he looked shocked to see me dressed and asked why I was leaving. Uh... hello? So I reminded him of what happened last time and he claimed that he wasn't uncomfortable, but he has a hard time getting a good nights sleep with someone else in his bed. So I offered to leave again, and he embraced me and fell back onto the bed saying "No... I want you to stay."

So I stayed. We didn't cuddle much because I know he needs his space, and I was ok with that. We woke up together over a period of 3 hours and parted ways to get going with our days. He wanted to know my plans for the day, and to figure out when to hang out next. I said we'd be in touch.

And I'm right back in the thick of confusion.

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