Sometimes I hate being a girl

So things are going really well with NotMexican... but they could be going better.

And that statement right there is why I hate being a girl.

I want to see him all the time. I want to talk to him all the time. I get super giddy when my text message beep goes off and it's him.

He also says the right things... but I want more.

The other day we were texting and he told me I'm on his mind often, asking if that was a good thing.

Since I'm a bit of a snob, I replied that I should be on his mind all the time.

After a lot of banter back and forth that lead to medical explanations, he finally cut to the chase and said he wanted to know if he was on my mind.

Well yes... of course.

So you see we have great text conversations. We see each other appropriately. We have great sex every time...

But I'm a freakin girl and I want more.

I want all the time.

Man I hate relationships.

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Cougar Cub

I spent most of my 20s dating men in their 30s and 40s. I thought it was the intelligent thing to do as they seemed more put together, more mature, more experienced... and well... they hit on me more than guys in their 20s.

Until Now.

Maybe it's because there are more men in their 20s at bars than any other decade, but I am definitely getting more attention from the younger guys. I think I blatantly look my age, 28, so I'm not sure what is going on.

What I can tell you is that I LOVE IT.

I recently started seeing Arena. He's a couple years younger than I am and a professional arena football player despite the demise of the league. He's got a great body but isn't too beefy. He's a wide receiver (my favorite! along with quarterbacks).

Arena invited me over yesterday for an afternoon of "cuddling." Yeah right... like I can cuddle. Well we started out that way and naturally progressed to more fun activities.

O... O... O...

get it?

Arena has an unbelievable amount of energy and stamina. I don't think I've ever had a guy go that long and multiple times. What was I thinking avoiding men in their 20s?

No more...

I may not be at the age to have the official title of cougar, but I can only get older ;)

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Craigslist Frenzy

Last week I responded to a craigs ad seeking a date for a Nuggets bball game. I love sporting events so I responded and the guy chose me. He wasn't hot, just cute enough but an all-around good guy.

We were at a bar near the stadium eating when he gets a text from his friend who is also coming to the game. The friend tells us that his date is outside of the bar and gonna meet us first. So she comes in and tells us that she met the friend on craigslist too.

So here we are, two girl who met two guys off of craigslist. Then sure enough when we ask the guys how they know each other, they tell us they met off craigslist too.

Four people all connected through craigslist. Love it.

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Meeting the Parents on date 2?

So I love the holidays, not so much for the obvious gift giving and receiving but moreso for the parties.

I responded to a craigslist ad seeking a date for the company party. Chazz replied. Blond and hot... I don't need more than that.

We bantered a bit back and forth and met for drinks the night before the party. I don't want to count it as a date, but he did pay.

So we chatted, had a good time and agreed that it would be fun to go to this holiday party together.

The next night, he picks me up and off we go.

So he's introducing me to everyone and at one point I coulda swarn he said "mom" to someone. It didn't quite register as I might have been on my third glass of wine, but as the night went on more and more people would kinda be talking about his parents.

I finally ask Chazz if his parents were at the party. He said, "yeah I already introduced you to them." I thought he was kidding, so I asked him to point them out.

He pointed to his father first... the man with whom I had an extensive discussion of whiskey. Then finally his mom, who thankfully I had complimented when I first met her. She was wearing great jewelry.

I'm in shock by this, but my guess is they're just a totally cool family. I don't know if Chazz and I hit it off, but I would jump into his bed in a heartbeat if he wanted.

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Two Terrible Dates

Thankfully it's quite rare that I have a terrible date or dating experience, but in the last week alone I've had two.

I'll start with the one that required this picture of the lips. My last craigslist post was about 2 months ago and PediGuy responded. We texted off and on repeatedly but he'd never follow through with plans. I concluded he enjoyed playing games, and i'd play along at my convenience. I call him PediGuy because he enjoyed getting pedicures.

When I returned from thanksgiving vacation, I texted PediGuy that I planned to get a pedicure that evening and he was welcome to join. Low and behold he actually did. He was very... unattractive. So I just went along for the friendly pedicure companionship. Conversation was great, then we went to chipotle for dinner and then got a glass of wine. After wine, he went in for the kiss with PUCKERED lips. It was gross and I turned my head. We got into his car to get me home and he tried again!

This time I pulled away and said I don't kiss on the first date. I texted him once I got home that I got the friend vibe and hope we can be friends. I don't ever expect to hear from him again.

The second terrible date was last night. I went out with a very cute guy who complimented me the whole night on my looks. We went to a pool hall to get drinks and he got up and told me he'd be back in 2 minutes. I figured he went outside to smoke a cigarette since I asked him not to while I was around. About 10-15 minutes go by and he's still not back. I sent him a text and no response. I got up and left, thinking I'd see him outside. Nope.

This has never happened to me before, and I can't think of a single thing that was said or done to cause him to leave other than asking him not to smoke around me.

On the plus side I did have an awesome date with a guy close to my age. He was very cute and we had a lot in common. Mostly we love the same movies/music and love to drink. He owns a couple liquor stores and used to work for a winery!

Is it sad that I get this excited about alcohol?

I'm sure I'll have more to report about him in the near future. In the meantime, I'm going out with AccountExec tonight...

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Running Into People

Well Southie has pretty much fallen off the face of the earth. Ok... he put me after the Yankees. I totally accepted coming second to his son, but I never in a million years thought I would come third to the Yankees.

It upset me for a good bit. I wrote about it a couple posts ago. I didn't tell you I cried, but I'll admit it. I really liked him. But once again, not enough time to get to open up. Oh well.

Moving on...

I went back on craigslist. My go-to site had a plethora of men from whom to choose. I opted for the engineer from upstate New York. He was totally cute and really fun. We went out two nights in a row. If he was here in Denver, we'd prolly be officially dating.

Anyway... he and I ended up back at the bar in my building. It's a great place where half the patrons live in my building. Low and behold... who is there... Author.

I panicked for a moment when I realized my date was standing next to Author at the bar. I check my cell phone and there are a few missed texts, including one from Author asking what I'm doing. When my date came back with the drinks I told him "my neighbor is here. We should invite him over. By the way, our story is that we went to undergrad together."

Author came over with a couple of his friends. We all had fun chatting away. Author did eventually ask how we knew each other, to which I promptly replied "engineers together!" and quickly changed the subject.

Did he believe me? Honestly, who cares... we're only FWBs

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Second Place is first loser

One of my coworkers told me about meeting his wife. He said "you know... you kinda date the same person over and over again until one is tweaked just enough to be the one." Someone else told me that all women eventually marry their fathers.

I'm realizing that I've been dating my father over and over again, and I'm not sure the men are progressively tweaking towards becoming the one.

Almost all the men I date are leaders. CEOs, presidents, executive VPs, etc. Almost all of them put me second.

I came to this realization after I was upset earlier this week that I hadn't heard from Southie. He typically calls or texts daily and makes plans to hang out. Sunday I texted to apologize for my drunken saturday night texts. Didn't hear from him.

I texted that night. Didn't hear from him. Not a peep all day Monday. Monday night, I called. I NEVER call a man. He didn't pick up. So I finally texted and asked if he was upset with me. I know it's typically the kiss of death, but he eventually replied telling me "not at all." We had a brief text convo and he told me he'd call me tuesday.

It's now wednesday night and I finally get a text in response to one of my funny facebook messages.

I realized early on that I'd always be second to Southie's son, but he never made me feel that way. I was actually falling for him. What I'm realizing now is that I might be third... or some other number thereafter... or not anything at all anymore.

I hate the way this makes me feel, and I know it's a major reason I date the way I do and don't care for men the way I want to. It hurts too much. And thus I regress to former behavior.

As said in one of many great Pearl Jam songs, "I change by not changing at all"

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Whirlwind Update

So sorry to have kept you all out of the loop. It's been a crazy month on the wards with long hours and patients who just aren't leaving the hospital.

And on top of that I've been dating like crazy and going nuts about football season, and overall just not getting to the computer.

So my date with the German Daddy was less than stellar. He knew more about food and wine than me and told me about all these great places he'd take me. Of course I made the mistake of sleeping with him that night and haven't heard from him since.

But I did meet Southie. I call him that because he has a straight-up Boston accent like no other. He's been in colorado for 13 years and he'll never get rid of it. I kind of enjoy it. Reminds me of home. Southie treats me like a queen. He took me a concert at red rocks and always texts and calls and wants to hang out. Tonight he's cooking me dinner and I'll get to catch up on True Blood!

The pornstar is officially out of the picture. He would get emotional over texts and tell me that he's falling in love with me. Then when it would come time to meet, he'd cancel last minute. I'm not a dumb chick, I dropped him like it's hot.

Blondie is around, but I've kinda been avoiding him. He's a cutie, but it's just such a pain to get together and frankly the fargo accent was getting to me.

And of course the Author... After work on Sunday I went straight to the bars to watch football. 6 hours later, I admit I wasn't sober. I texted him for a booty call and he couldn't because he had deadlines to meet. I may have snipped a rude text back... ok i totally did because he sent me an email later that night hoping i wasn't upset but his work is very important to him. I apologized and haven't heard from him all week.

Who will come, who will go? I dunno, but I'll keep you posted.

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Exhausting

I started my first inpatient ward rotation last week. I gotta say it's just about as hectic as the intensive care unit. The difference? People really aren't that sick, and I feel like a baby-sitter... a very expensive baby-sitter.

The cases are not fulfilling, and the workload eats up a lot of my time and energy. But then again, so do the myriad of men in my life.

Which is what you're all really dying to know about.

I told the Insomniac that I'd get back to him when my time cleared up... i know i know... I pulled the doctor card. It's just such a fantastic card though!

Blondie came with me to a model casting call. He even walked the runway since they needed men. I'll be kinda upset if he gets the gig and I don't. But we finally had sex and it was sloppy and drunk. I'm sure we'll try again this weekend.

The Author and I have finally settled into an agreeable arrangement. At least emotionally agreeable for me. We have great sex once in a while and we also hang out as great friends. It works.

Did I ever mention the Pornstar? I don't think so... I'll have to give him his own post, assuming he and I ever meet.

Then there's the German Daddy... will he be a sugar daddy? will he become a boyfriend? I have no idea how this one is gonna turn out, but he's hot and blond and very well-off... let's find out if he's well-endowed too.

And that brings me to the title of this post. Doctoring and dating at the same time is exhausting... but I don't think I could function any other way.

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Free Rockies.

One of my friends told me I am the Queen of the Free. Basically, if I can get something for free, I will. Some of my other friends call me a hustler.

Some of it is just down right luck... being in the right place at the right time.

At the moment I have a lot of time too as I'm DONE with the intensive care unit. Thank. You. God.

So naturally I went out on a craigslist date on Friday with a cute blondie who happens to be my age. I'm not sure why suddenly most of the men I'm dating are not at least 5 years older than I am. No matter.

Blondie and I went out for drinks in the lower downtown area of Denver. We kept getting closer and closer to Rockies Stadium as we bar hopped, then finally decided to just go to the game. We were standing in line at the ticket booth when a security guy comes over.

He asked us if were interested in tickets. We said sure. Then he handed us two tickets, saying "I'm allowed to give away 2 tix to every game, so I find good-looking people to give them to."

I'd like to give a big shout out to God one more time for blessing me with good looks, a kickass body and amazing hair.

We went into the game for FREE and sat 3 rows from the field in left field. A great date... except the Rockies lost. 

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Craigslist Rules

So I'm pretty fearless when it comes to craigslist. I have no problem meeting men, and quite often I meet some great guys. RedSox for example... in fact most of the men written of in this blog are from craigslist.

When I posted an ad in M4W in Denver, I received the typical 60+ responses. I met about 7 of them. I'll get to writing about those men within the next few days, but I wanted to let you know how I manage this. One of my friends has recommended that I write a guidebook for craigs. No need for a guidebook. Just follow a few simple rules and guidelines:

1. The "Delete" button on email is your best friend. Don't be afraid to use it. If something(ANYTHING) is off, DELETE!

2. Ask for a picture in your post. Physical attraction is the first and foremost important part of chemistry. If a guy doesn't send a pic, and doesn't explain why, DELETE. If he refuses to send one, DELETE.

3. You must be able to see his face in the pic. Some men send pics of their abs. I do find that hot, but I'm gonna be looking at his face when we meet.

3. If you ask for a pic, you MUST have one to send in return. If you post your pic in your ad, make sure it's accurate.

4. Don't feel offended if you send a guy your pic and he never replies. We have types too and delete many responses because we didn't feel a spark. He saved you a headache.

5. Keep your post short. Most men click on posts just to see the pic and mostly will respond based on how hard they get by looking at you. It's no different from daily life.

6. Some men cast a deep net when it comes to craigs. This means they respond to every single M4W ad. These guys are easy to spot. Their response to you is the length of a novel and don't reference anything you said in your ad. If you get one of these guys, DELETE.

7. Meeting the guy: you have to meet sooner rather than later. Emailing gets old very quickly. He should be willing to set up coffee or something after a few emails. If it's going on forever and he's not asking, DELETE. (and of course meet in a public place)

8. Go into each date with NO expectations. Some men will not look like their picture. Some will have lied about their name, age, occupation, etc. You might have to pay for your own meal. Be prepared for this, but nonetheless try to enjoy yourself. It's great practice for the future.

9. Get his phone number before the date and yes... be willing to give him yours. People run late, go to the wrong restaurant, have an emergency. Personally, I like to text him 5 mins before I arrive to see where he is on route. There have been times where I've been stood up, so I'd like to try and figure that out before I sit down at a table.

10. Always say thank you. Definitely at the end of the night, even better in a follow-up email.

11. Briefly evaluate the date. Did you like him? Keep it simple: Yes or No only.

12. He might never contact you again. As a blogger friend's mom once said "Rejection is God's Protection." Take it with a grain of salt and go for the next guy.

13. You may not want to go out again. Be honest. Just say "thanks, but I didn't feel chemistry." He might reply with a vicious email... DELETE.

14. Lastly, let me just re-iterate the first rule. The "Delete" button is your best friend. Use it as often as you wish.

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Dad's dating tips...

... stolen from MSN dating articles.

I've written about this before. My dad is obsessed with dating. He lives vicariously through me like a gossipy girl. When my mom disapproves of my behavior, dad usually loves it.

One of his favorite things to do is read MSN dating/relationship advice. Occasionally he emails an article to me and my sister.

This latest one had me cracking up, so I figured I'd share and offer my opinions as well.

Five Money Questions You Must Ask Your Man

1. How much do you make?
HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Ok I'm sorry, but this is a horrible question to flat out ask a guy until you're 100% sure he's the one. If you're smooth, like me, it will most likely come out in random conversation. My advice: If you wanna know, talk about your salary goals then ask his goals. At the very least you'll figure out what he's NOT making.

2. Got any debt?
HAHAHAHA. Ok not as funny as number one, but still. Debt is a sensitive topic for many people. Again, not something to bring up until it's time for marriage because only then will it matter. In the meantime here's my advice: Never date (for marriage) a doctor or lawyer who is within 5 years of graduation. Most graduate with about $200,ooo in debt unless their parents ponied up. In the meantime, let him wine and dine you because it's not your problem.

3. Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?
I like this question, but not on the first date. This is one that should wait until after the honeymoon period. Bail if he plans to go back to school without having a solid savings first.

4. Are we going dutch?
I've made my feelings on this very clear. His answer better be NO or this is the last time he gets to see me. At the same time, make sure he's cool with you being a working gal. It would suck if in the long run you'd have to ask him for money every time you wanted something.

5. How many kids?
HAHAHAHAHA. ok seriously, don't even come close to asking this question until you know there's a chance of a future. Sure kids are expensive, but I think it's better to want the same number of kids rather than worry about the cost of having them. I personally want 1 boy and 1 girl. I'd be happy with just 1 boy. I'd be in for a lot of trouble if I had a girl like myself... financially and emotionally.

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Toddler Dating

I don't think my style of dating has changed since I was in nursery school now that I think about it.

Roomie's 4 year-old niece: I was sad because my boyfriend un-dated me, but another boy in my class likes me so I think he'll be my new boyfriend.

If only break-ups were this simple for everyone at any age.

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Drunk Advice

I think people purposefully ask for dating advice when I'm drunk because I'm not going to think things through. I'm going to tell them what they want to hear.

Which most often is "Do EEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTT! Go for it!! He TOTALLY wants you! Fuck that other slut in his life!"

Last night Madge asked me if she should go for one of the residents on her surgery rotation. I told her "YES!! Do EEEEETTTTTT! You both rock climb. I hate rock climbing. You're MEANT for each other!!"

The reality is that she should probably feel things out a little more and try to get together after they're done with the rotation.

Later Ems bitched about a guy in our class that she has been wanting. I guess it turns out that he had been hooking up with another girl in our class that Ems hates. Things haven't been looking good, so I told her "Fuck HIM! Fuck that bitch in our class! You rock! Who do you want tonight? I'm going to get him for you!"

I never did get Ems a guy. I don't remember what I told Madge towards the end of the night. Hopefully things will work out for both of them.

In the meantime, I need an aspirin.

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Talking about the past

I've been reading quite a bit on the blog world about discussing each other's past with your significant other. I understand the importance of getting to know people. God knows I am a curious little monkey... and that unfortunately has caused a lot of trouble in the occasional relationship. As a result, I have a couple unacceptable topics for my relationships.

I don't want to hear about abuse that was done to you or that you caused. It turns me into a protective mother or a frightened kitten. Our relationship is doomed.

I don't want to know how many partners you've had. Mainly, I don't want to tell you how many I've had. I'm well beyond the number of distal appendages and I know your ego probably can't handle that.

I don't want to hear about ANY of your exes. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the first person you've dated. I apologize to ALL the men I've talked to about exes... truth is I did it because I a. wanted to make you jealous or b. wanted you to break up with me.

There is plenty more, I'm sure. At the moment this is luckily all I have had to deal with.

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Sadly

I didn't think anything would come of posting a craigslist ad in Chicago. I wrote that I wanted a long-distance pen pal. I miss dating, and I thought it would be fun.

I kept emailing with two guys, nothing sexual, just flirty. They both were really cute and fun for conversation.

Then yesterday I get an email from one of them saying he is in Boston for the Sox games and he would love to meet up.

Sadly I didn't hesitate. I had a crappy day, and RedSox wasn't around.

I met up with Salesboy and his friends at a local bar. He was cute, and his friends were hot. I had all my drinks paid for and it was a great time! He told me I was beautiful and that he wants to date me and that I should come out to Chicago.

How I miss men telling me that... and then he planted one on me.

I felt nothing for him, but I did enjoy the kiss.

Sadly, I don't feel bad about it.

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Typical Teens

When I went to LA, my plans were to relax... do absolutely nothing.

Sister had decided otherwise.

As I've mentioned several times before, my sister and I are very, VERY different. We don't look alike. We don't act alike. Basically the only things we have in common are our family and dress/shoe size.

It used to just be our family but with Body for Life and her trainer Barry, Sister has changed her body and lifestyle.

Now it's time for more, and more involves Barry. They've been hanging out lately and Sister is unsure of what's going on. She's a bit conservative, even more old-fashioned... shy.

Me: not so much.

My mission: Get the scoop on Barry.

Sister scheduled a training session for me. I was dreading it because I haven't properly worked out in a couple months, but Barry was easy-going and great.

I chatted him up about everything from personal training to travel. I talked about myself. I flirted. I succeeded in my mission.

Afterwards, my sister invited Barry to join us for dinner. While we waited for him at the restaurant I gave her the scoop. Barry likes chicks, he is just incredibly shy.

He has never been married. He isn't aggressive with women. He is just a really nice guy. I got the impression that he might have been a dork in high school. He doesn't really know how to act around women

The other day when Sister called to tell me he made her a mix cd, that pretty much confirmed my thoughts. He's still a teenager (at 44).

Lucky for him, so is Sister. She gets giggly around him. She talks about her marriage to him.

Where will this go? I guess we'll have to wait and see. In the meantime, Sister needs to listen to the songs on that CD and see if they actually say anything.

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Interracial Dating

"To me, women are like Skittles. I'll eat all colors."- Dark Sarcasm

A woman asked Moxie for advice on internet dating. She was upset because anytime she wrote a post on craigslist seeking a white man, her post would get flagged and removed and men of other races would email her calling her a racist.

I've had this happen to me for the exact same reason. I prefer white men. I like pasty skin. I loooooove blond hair. It's my preference and I should be allowed to say so.

It's saves both me and the men reading my ad a lot of time. I don't have to sand down my pointer finger clicking the delete button, and he doesn't have to worry about courting a woman who is just not that into him.

It has dissapointed me in the past when I've wanted to respond to a craigslist ad and the author specifically requested a race that didn't include brown, but ultimately it is his loss... and actually it's better that I don't get hurt in the end.

I wish it were a perfect world where people are just people and racism doesn't exist, but preferences will always exist. I also prefer my men to have a tight ass, does that make me assist?

Well fine then... I'm an assist.

Regardless of the derriere, I do encourage all people to try dating outside their preferences, especially if you haven't been successful in dating. RedSox may be white, but that's about the only preference of mine that he actually has. I took a chance, and I couldn't be happier.

So why not take a chance on a person from a different race? Admit that you prefer white, but try not to be opposed to other colors. As Dark Sarcasm continued to say, "We're all black when the lights go out, baby!"

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ok now I miiight have cheated

Not really... I didn't do anything. It was just dinner amongst strangers. And No, I did not turn to craigslist for a random date.

Actually last night I took the train to my home town. I watched my dad pick up my mom and then I went one more stop to downtown. As I walked up the hill towards the restaurant, I got a hit of nerves.

There he was walking down the hill to potentially run into me. I was supposed to meet him in March, but my flight to Denver was cancelled. WhiteRapper looked exactly like his MySpace pics... and damn did he look good.

His work brought him to the North East. He emailed me a few weeks back to let me know he was coming, where he was staying, etc. I made plans with him for dinner, but then I never thought anything of it.

Even yesterday I didn't think anything of it. I went into the dinner as I do all dinners... nothing is gonna come of this, so I'm just gonna have a good time.

And we did. Conversation flowed. Our meal was pretty great. After 2.5 hours of chatting away, I finally had to head back into Boston.

I liked WhiteRapper a lot, but there was no spark for me. I called up RedSox on the train ride home. He was at the sox game, so I told him we'd talk later. I ended up going to bed, but I know how I feel and where I stand. I'm with RedSox and that's that.

But is it? As I sit here reflecting on last night's conversation with WhiteRapper, not once did I think to tell him I was dating RedSox. I thought about RedSox during dinner, but I only mentioned him casually as a friend.

It's no wonder then that I woke up to this email from WhiteRapper:
"My VP told me to stick around and check out the city. He approved all the flight changes! I had a good time with ya tonight. You're cool, fun, and you're definitely easy on the eyes. Everything I thought you'd be. I'm looking forward to more chance encounters."

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The Prince & Me

I'm not really one to keep up on celebrity gossip, but when my future husband is involved I must!

After 5 years, I did fear he would end up marrying Kate. She is beautiful, elegant, poised, polite and loved by England. But truth be told... She is no match for Roxy.

I wouldn't say I am better than she yet, but I've been keeping up with Flavor of Love's Charm School.

Kate should have known.

Men in their 20s still wanna be boys and have fun. Men in their 30s worry they will end up alone. Men in their 40s pay for everything.

The Lesson: Date accordingly.

Once I finish residency, I'm sure William will be ready for me.

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