I can't fix it if I don't know it is broken

Roomate and I are officially ex-friends. She informed me by email today. She didn't want to say anything, but I pushed it so she told me her true feelings. She starts out by saying she has tried not to say anything but now she feels she has to.

Well that's a good start...

Bullet Points:
- I bailed on her as a friend when I started dating RedSox
- When I ask her to hang out, it's almost always when she is going to be away
- I invite her to RSVPed events last minute, making her feel like a last resort
- I am so consumed with my own world and everything happening with RedSox
- I only contact her when I want something

Some of the stuff is true. I bailed on her a few times to hang out with RedSox. I apologized and made alternate plans. She never said anything, so I thought my apology was accepted.

When I ask her to hang out, it's because I'm making an effort. I don't really know what to say, but she never said anything... so I had no idea.

I definitely have invited her to promo events last minute after having already RSVPed. I RSVP to everything whether I'm going or not. ALL of my friends know I like to be on the list just in case... and because it's just smart. I invite last minute, because I decide last minute. She never said anything, so it was news to me that she felt like a last call.

I admit to having tunnel-vision. I get consumed with one major life-altering moment at a time, be it medical school, the boards, surgery, etc. RedSox is incredibly patient and a HUGE help... the same way Roomate's boyfriend put up with her law school drama. She blew off ALL her friends and NEVER went out to social events, rarely called people back. I think we're both consumed with our own worlds, which is probably why we got along.

I do NOT only contact Roomate when I want something, unless you count me wanting to know how her first day at her internship went or how her trip to sweden was or how she is doing. Maybe she missed my instant messages wishing her well or my emails asking how things are going.

I guess it's a lesson to me and all of you who read this. If you truly care about your friend, you will tell them how you feel before it is too late. You will not let things build up. You will not let things "get out of hand and try not to say anything"... as she wrote in her email.

I told Roomate I had no idea things had elevated to the extent she conveyed in her email. I told her I wish she had told me, because then I could have worked on things and corrected them sooner.

I can't believe I sat her down last Saturday to talk and she didn't bring this stuff up. I made an effort. Unfortunately it was too late and what has broken will stay broken.