Engaged too Soon

I've been struggling quite a bit lately with my relationship with NotMexican. While I thought we were back on track, I think we're just more at a standstill.

When apart, I miss him so much. We talk on the phone and tell each other we love and miss each other... then when we see each other, it's mediocre.

Our trip to Breckinridge last month was great because we actually spent quality time together. New Years was good, but maybe because he was still in pain from breaking his ribs in Breckinridge.

This time... I am writing from his computer in colorado... I am just not at all enthused.

I got off the plane Friday night, exhausted, but so excited to see him. I read an article about happiness and the wonders of a smile, so I was smiling and ready to hug him and kiss him.

He drove into arrival, and got out of the car and when he rounded the corner after opening the trunk... he looked angry.

My smile faded before he had a chance to see it. Immediately I thought, "oh crap, did I go to the wrong pick-up side again?"

That question was quickly answered, when annoyed, he asked "what side are you on?"

I apologized profusely, but bummed and then shut down.

I went straight to bed with hopes that the next day would be better. It started out well, but he had to go to work. I didn't get any studying in because I was dwelling on the night before. He came home and we watched an excellent but depressing show called Intervention.

We were supposed to go to dinner with one of his friends who cancelled. I just could not feel better.

We went to dinner and I just blew up at him. I am sick and tired of looking forward to an awesome weekend with MY FUTURE HUSBAND and having it be crappy.

We made up, but I'm still unhappy. I cannot wait to get back to Boston.

I think this may be the beginning of the end...

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Bankruptcy DEFINITELY revealed

So a couple weeks ago my mom came into town on the weekend. I thought it was to see a family member in the hospital, but she said she wanted to talk to me because she felt something was going on.

I told her I was having a hard time with residency, felt inadequate, blah blah. She encouraged me on that but then started pressing on my relationship with NotMexican. After a lot of questions about his finances, she directly asked if he was filing for bankruptcy.

How did she know?

I was honest. We talked about it. I told her what it meant... then she started pressing for me to tell dad.

I told her I tried and he didn't wanna know. She said he was probably drunk and that's no excuse. He needs to know.

I gave in and told him yesterday. He was very calm. In fact, it didn't seem to bother him.

But naturally I got a lecture.

Now... NotMexican and I have been having more conflict in our relationship. Admittedly, I've been questioning if I'm making a mistake.

I expected my parents to tell me I was making a mistake and try to get me to break it off, but all they asked was for the same things I've been asking from NotMexican.

1. Counseling- I was pushing for this before engagement.
2. Live together before marriage- heck yeah
3. Pre-nup- you bet your freaking a$$ to Mars (if that's even a phrase)

I thought this was amazing and wonderful because my parents only re-iterated what I felt I needed before a legal union, a business arrangement... marriage.

NotMexican took it the wrong way, which I didn't understand and repeatedly kept telling him how this was a good thing.

He calmed down and apologized and ultimately did agree (since he already agreed before)... and well, I'm still engaged.

For now...

First session with the counselor is Friday.

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The Ring

even better than the ring I wanted!

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A Predator No More

It's official.

I'm engaged.

I went to Denver last weekend for NotMexican's birthday.

We were relaxing at his home and typical me was on the computer.

He came over to hug me, then he wouldn't let go.

I said, "Babe, I'm on the computer"

He kept hugging me and said "you're gonna be my wife right?"

"of course babe"

"you're gonna marry me right"

"of course babe" (as I'm still typing away on the computer)

"do I have to get down on one knee?"

"when the time comes, if you want to... do whatever" (still trying to type)

NotMexican is down on one knee.

I asked, "oh are you asking me now?"

He puts the ring on my finger and says yes.

"Well yes of course!"

And then he picked me up, took me to the bedroom and hugged me for a long time.... as I stared at my ring.

Picture of the ring to come soon!

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Ring a ding ding

NotMexican casually told me a couple weeks ago that I should start engagement ring shopping. For most women I'm sure this is their dream come true. For me, the aspiring cougar-to-be, I had no idea what to do.

So I went about it in a scientific way. I googled diamonds. I read all about the C's and was scientifically prepped to shop.

I headed to the Diamond district in Boston and the endless sparkle threw my online education out the window.

I was AMAZED at how inexpensive a ring could be if I was willing to compromise on things. It was nuts.

I was overwhelmed with the whole experience, so I meandered home and stumbled into a boutique jewelry store on Charles Street.

I saw this ring and fell in love. It's a champagne diamond, so a "terrible" color but PERFECT for me. It was set in rose gold... not the ideal platinum but PERFECT for me. It has a halo of diamonds which tricks the eye into seeing a much larger ring, thus dropping the price.

It's beautiful. I took this picture from the shop's website. Sadly the store burned down last week, but I bet I could email the owner and get a deal on this ring... we'll see... but after I showed this picture to NotMexican, he told me to leave everything in his hands.

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