I'll be the first to admit that I'm quick to drop relationships. I'm easily scared off, put off or just not getting off. It's unhealthy, but again... I'm working on it.
It's also unhealthy when I stay in relationships in hopes that things will improve.
Some Examples:
1. Environmental Lobbyist: Horrible Horrible kisser, but HOT and PREPPY. Kissing never did improve.
2. My ex-boyfriend: Clingy, Spastic, Hard-headed, but passionate and loved me. He's still crazy.
3. LegalSeafoods: Liar, cheater, unavailable, but oh so charming and perfect to bring home.
All of these relationships were unhealthy, but I got rid of these guys and haven't looked back.
I won't get rid of friends though.
I actually tried to get rid of my best friend once. I was in college, she was a waitress. I was upset that she didn't go to college, that she wasn't trying to get out of our hometown and do something with her life. I reduced phone calls, kept conversations short, tried so hard to push her away. But she wouldn't let me go and for that I'm grateful.
I was the one with the problem, but it took me years to figure it out and solve it.
So what happens now when friendships upset me? Sorta the same thing. I pull away and make myself unavailable.
I'm doing it right now.
Medical School naturally makes me unavailable. Last year I was so upset that I couldn't go out every night or meet up whenever people wanted. I tried and it took a toll on schoolwork, so I prioritized. All of my friends supported me and continued to respect our friendship.
Recently, a friend of mine got upset with our group because we didn't all have time to meet up for brunch. I tried not to get upset, but it re-surged all of my depression from last year because I couldn't meet up. I sent as civil an email as I could, and have yet to hear a reply... let alone an apology.
I can't change my friends. I don't want to change them. I just want them to respect our friendship.
An imbalance can be unhealthy, but I'm willing to stand on one foot for as long as it takes because I am NOT quick to drop my friends.
It's also unhealthy when I stay in relationships in hopes that things will improve.
Some Examples:
1. Environmental Lobbyist: Horrible Horrible kisser, but HOT and PREPPY. Kissing never did improve.
2. My ex-boyfriend: Clingy, Spastic, Hard-headed, but passionate and loved me. He's still crazy.
3. LegalSeafoods: Liar, cheater, unavailable, but oh so charming and perfect to bring home.
All of these relationships were unhealthy, but I got rid of these guys and haven't looked back.
I won't get rid of friends though.
I actually tried to get rid of my best friend once. I was in college, she was a waitress. I was upset that she didn't go to college, that she wasn't trying to get out of our hometown and do something with her life. I reduced phone calls, kept conversations short, tried so hard to push her away. But she wouldn't let me go and for that I'm grateful.
I was the one with the problem, but it took me years to figure it out and solve it.
So what happens now when friendships upset me? Sorta the same thing. I pull away and make myself unavailable.
I'm doing it right now.
Medical School naturally makes me unavailable. Last year I was so upset that I couldn't go out every night or meet up whenever people wanted. I tried and it took a toll on schoolwork, so I prioritized. All of my friends supported me and continued to respect our friendship.
Recently, a friend of mine got upset with our group because we didn't all have time to meet up for brunch. I tried not to get upset, but it re-surged all of my depression from last year because I couldn't meet up. I sent as civil an email as I could, and have yet to hear a reply... let alone an apology.
I can't change my friends. I don't want to change them. I just want them to respect our friendship.
An imbalance can be unhealthy, but I'm willing to stand on one foot for as long as it takes because I am NOT quick to drop my friends.