Grieving for Singledom

When people talk about grief, it's often over the loss of a loved one. But haven't we all gone through the Kubler-Ross stages of grief when we lost our favorite clothing item or had to let go of a past relationship?

The realization that I'm in a serious, lifelong relationship is creeping up on me, and I'm grieving the loss of my single life.

I know most women hate being single, but I LOVED IT. I absolutely LOVED dating, getting to know someone, getting hit on by guys and giving them my number, not caring where things went because there would always be the next guy... I'll stop now as I realize I'm beginning to brag.

Sorry.

A few nights ago, I went to a social event with friends. We were hanging out, drinking, meeting new people... and this attractive (BLOND) guy came over and started chatting with us. He was chatting it up with my friend first and I chatted with his friend. Then we switched, and he and I were having fun conversation.

I wasn't thinking too much of it until he asked me if I was single or engaged because he couldn't tell with my finger. (I have a tendency to flap my hands all over the place while talking, so good luck focusing on my fingers). I told him I was engaged and conversation continued as normal... or so I thought.

A few minutes later he told us he was gonna find his friends. I leaned over to my girl-friend and told her that if I wasn't engaged, he would soooo be my type. She said he was clearly dissapointed to learn I wasn't available.

It didn't hit me until someone else said it, but I actually felt sad when I got home. He totally would have asked me out, and we would probably have dated for a good while... I felt depressed.

Here I am alone in Boston while my fiance takes care of things across the country. I miss him all the time and am totally faithful, but man this non-single life is really starting to get to me.

Thankfully, NotMexican and I talked it out a couple days later. It probably wasn't the most exciting stuff for him to hear from me, but he was incredibly supportive and assured me that all will be well. Our distance will only make us stronger when we're finally together.

Man I hope so...

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Bankruptcy Revealed?

I was talking to my sister the other day and she asked me when I was gonna tell our parents about NotMexican's bankruptcy.

I told her that I didn't plan to. In fact, NotMexican wanted to spill his guts to my parents the first time they met and I told him not to. I didn't want them to judge him for being divorced and losing all his money because of it.

My sister told me it wasn't fair to our parents. What if we need them to cosign a loan in the future when buying a home.

I had thought about that, but I didn't plan on considering home buying for another 5 years.

I thought about it and agreed so I told NotMexican that we should sit my parents down and tell them everything. As if he didn't have enough stress on his plate, I just added a whopping chunk.

He got really upset (naturally), told me that he wasn't gonna say anything because I assured him it wasn't a big deal (true) and got angry with me for bringing it up suddenly (as he should).

Since it was such a big deal, both he and my sister suggested I tell my parents. I'm the one who started the drama, so I should take care of it.

And that's what I did last night.

We were at a formal dinner for the hospital and I found my dad in the corner hoarding food and drinks. I sat down with him and asked him what he thought of NotMexican.

He said he liked him.

I told my dad that I've made my decision. He replied, "I trust your decision."

I told my dad that NotMexican hasn't had the easiest life and because of it we will probably struggle financially. My dad said, "That's ok. Your mom and I struggled."

I asked my dad if he wanted to know why we would be struggling. My dad said, "I don't wanna know anything. I trust your decision. It's clear that NotMexican has struggled in his life just from talking to him and I think it's a good thing."

I asked him if was sure... He said he was sure.

I don't know what to say, but I'm just amazingly thankful.

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