Moving Out and Driving

I have officially moved out of my apartment in Beacon Hill. I must say I am very happy to be out of that tiny tiny room, but I will miss living there. I won't miss my current roommate, but I will miss her when I'm drunk.

The good news is that I will be back in Beacon Hill (hopefully) about a year from now. I am looking forward to my adventure in Colorado, but I'm also starting to freak out about it.

I've never left Boston. I know this city so well. I can walk everywhere from anywhere. Denver is different. I don't know yet if I'll need a car. (God I hope not)

Let me sidetrack with a driving story. Last night was the medical school gala. RedSox and Madge came over for pre-drinks. RedSox left his emergency lights on for almost an hour, and of course the car wouldn't start when it was time to go.

Madge and RedSox decided they would push the car and I would drive it in neutral down the hill to the gas station. I was scared to death though. Me trying to turn the wheel on that giant escalade was just not working out... and I ended up blocking an entire street. 

Madge and I flagged down cars and this nice lady let us jump from her car. We had help from a DiningIn delivery guy and then off we went to gala.

So the moral of this story is probably that I should never drive an escalade... Please God let me find a great bus route or bike in Denver.

Anyway, I'm home in Andover with my mom and the cat. Sebastien has actually lost a ton of weight living with my parents. He looks like a totally different cat. 

Tomorrow I'm off to sunny Los Angeles for a month, then Peru for a week, then back to Boston for 2 weeks, then off to Denver for 13 months. 

Wow.... what did I get myself into? 

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MATCHED!

I posed with my new Louis Vuitton bag and asked RedSox, "how do I look?"

He replied, "Wealthy."

That's the ultimate goal, and it will be realized. I'm very happy to report that I matched in radiology in Boston. I'll spend a year in Denver doing regular medicine first. 

I must admit that I knew I was matching at the GH a month ago. Apparently I was #1 on their rank list, and of course no one could resist telling my mother... who then couldn't resist telling me... who then told Sister and RedSox, but no one else. (ok I spilled to OleMiss 2 weeks later and then Ruby 2 days prior to the Match).

I'd say I did the best job with the secret, though.

And now for a soapbox moment:

Medical school is hell on Earth. I don't encourage anyone to go, and looking back on the last 4 years I wouldn't repeat most of it. Granted, I say this in the immediate aftermath. I imagine I'll be singing a different tune when I realize I have job security, a sweet paycheck and great friends I would never have met otherwise.

I would like to thank everyone for reading my blog, be it long-term or once in a while. Thank you for offering your thoughts, advice and opinions regarding school and everything else going on in my life. I appreciate you sticking around when I ultimately did what I wanted/felt/needed anyway.

Because you KNOW the story ain't over...

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In Limbo

I'm gonna jump from topic to topic in this post, but that's how my mind is working at the moment.

My life is in a limbo of sorts. I feel like I cannot make any decisions until I find out about residency. Match Day is this coming Thursday... but Black Monday tells me Yes or No. I'm really praying for a yes, both for the preliminary year and for radiology.

By some miracle, someone bought my loft bed... and now my bedroom is a mess of clothes and books. This hasn't helped with the limbo. I'm afraid to do anything else that might add to the chaos I'm feeling. 

I took a break and went to the Bahamas with RedSox and his friends. We had a wonderful time. Though our relationship has a definitive break, it doesn't have a definitive end. I've been reading a book called "When Good People Have Affairs," and have found quite a bit of enlightenment. I've also come up with a plan, possibly.

Tomorrow I'm going a church in Davis Square to drop off $1000. It's been my plan since the beginning of the residency application process. I was going to wait until after the Match, but I don't want to risk changing my donation in case I am displeased with the Match.

A few days ago, I met someone who gave me a great quote. "If you want something, you have to give it away." Basically if you want love, you need to give love. If you want money, you need to give money. If you want help, you need to offer it.

I want all of those things and more.

I just can't make any moves right now. I'm stuck... in limbo. Isn't this one of the layers of hell?

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I asked

One thing I've learned from therapy and my experience is that communication needs to happen often. I didn't wait very long to ask RedSox about his profile on the website.

Every time I stay over his place, I am the first to one to go to sleep. He always lies with me for a few minutes while I fall asleep. Last night I was smirking quite a bit while we were lying in bed together and he noticed, asking what was on my mind.

So I said, "if you're going to meet women off of [website], could you please wait until I leave for LA at the end of the month."

I think he had the same reaction i did when he confronted me about my infidelities. Shock, fear, guilt. He promised to take down his profile. 

I decided to trust him, and ultimately enjoy the rest of our time together. Afterall... we're going to the Bahamas this weekend.

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Highly Amused

I promised RedSox I would be faithful for the remainder of our time together in Boston. When I received an email alert from a dating website I had used in the past, I logged on to cancel my account.

In the corner, there's a link to another dating website where I had an account as well. I clicked on that site to cancel my account too. For kicks I decided to see who was in Boston before I cancelled.

And there it is... RedSox's profile. He created it on Valentine's Day and last logged in a week ago. 

I'm wondering if I should tell him I know now or later or never... what do you think?

I'm very confused right now and highly amused. 

He forgave me for my infidelity. I've been working on it in therapy and being faithful. He's been working very hard on himself too. I feel like even though we are going to end when I move away for residency, we have been doing very well. Communicating, improving ourselves, moving forward.

I dunno... i just can't stop laughing 

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