I started my blog as a way to try and open up to people, to not be afraid to be myself. It's been very helpful. It's been eye-opening.
Who I am in person is not too different from who I am on my blog, but the people who see me in person do not always know the secrets that those who read my blog do.
It's scary at times just how much my writing reveals... fear, envy, lies... the Truth.
I've been playing around with craigslist again, just to see who is out there, to see what is available should I choose to act.
I read a M4W where the guy wanted to take a woman shopping, no strings. It was rather odd to me since most of those kinds of ads require some form of sexual compensation. I was curious, so I responded.
We chatted a bit, and he pretty much revealed his extreme lack of self-confidence, of social skills, of self-respect. I felt sorry for him and decided there was no way I would ever meet up with this guy, but I couldn't help but ask about his past experiences taking women shopping.
He told me about licking a woman's feet, about eating another's feces (YUCK). I told him all I would want is to go shopping, and he told me he had taken one other girl shopping who ONLY wanted to go shopping.
He told me her name was Lin and she hailed from Chicago. Funny, I know a Lin from Chicago.
He described her beautiful blue eyes and that he wanted to hang out with her again, but she refuses. Then he says "OMG, you're friends with her."
I was shocked. I had sent him my myspace page, forgetting Lin had added me as a friend. She and I are not really friends. Actually she is one of RedSox's friends.
I had no idea that she and I were so similar... despite being so different.
I ended my conversation with the guy shortly afterwards, somewhat ashamed of the box I had just opened.
But the truth is the truth. It reveals very much. I knew I was no where near being the poster child for all that is good, but what I now know is neither is Lin.
Sunday, 21 October 2007
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