Not Guilty

approximately 3 weeks ago...

Me: I want to leave Boston and do my residency in NYC. I love it there.

Mom: What about RedSox? (said with the vision of grandkids fading)

Me: I'm pretty sure he'll stay in Boston.

Mom: (after a few seconds) Is OleMiss still in NYC?

Actually yes, OleMiss still is in NYC and he finally broke up with his girlfriend. She was a very sweet girl. I liked her a lot, but she is 33 and wants to get married and have kids. He is 26 and doesn't. As much as it hurt, he did the right thing.

I went down to NYC over the weekend to attend the wedding of a college friend. I told OleMiss I was coming down and that we should hang out. I arrived at 11pm on Friday, dropped my stuff off at Sam's place and off we went to grab drinks.

We're at Thor, enjoying our wine and people-watching when Sam sees OleMiss and exclaims "WOW he's fat!" Sure OleMiss had packed on a few pounds, but he looked more like a linebacker. We all started catching up and the sexual tension grew.

Sam felt tired and went home. OleMiss, his buddy and I continued to imbibe plenty of liquid, making out way towards Murray Hill. We closed down a pub, left the buddy and went back to his place to watch a movie.

About 15 minutes into the movie, OleMiss pulled me on top of him and kissed me. I kissed him back. The kissing became harder, more passionate. Clothes came off and he picked me up and took me to bed.

In the year that I've been dating RedSox, I haven't felt that kind of passion. It was intense. It was incredible. It was me...

I didn't feel guilty. Even now that I'm back in Boston, I don't feel guilty.

I care about RedSox, but he still hasn't given me what I want. I gave him the Guide to Getting It On. It continues to collect dust no matter how many times I point it out. He won't go down on me. He won't even straight-up fuck me.

I'm not one of those girls who drops hints. Men do not understand hints. They need to be directly told what to do. I directly tell RedSox what to do and he still won't do it. I told him it would only be a matter of time before I won't take it anymore. When I stop asking him, he should worry.

I think I'm done asking.