Not a Player, No Longer a Predator

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Saturday, 5 May 2007

Flatulence

Posted on 12:22 by Unknown
I've had a helluva week. Stressful to say the least, but I forced myself to take a break last night. I went to the gym and then I went to dinner and a movie with RedSox. We saw Spiderman 3. I really enjoyed the movie, especially the part where Peter smacks MJ and some guy in the audience yells "YEAH!! Give that Bitch what she deserves!"

The entire theater burst out laughing, including myself. I needed a break, and I really started to feel better... happier. This morning though, my body decided it wasn't so happy.

After sleeping in and catching up on Entourage with RedSox, my stomach started to kill. It wasn't stabbing pains. It was gas.

I am not comfortable farting in front of anyone except my roomate, and even then I'll try to excuse myself and pretend to get something from my room. So that is what I tried to do while sitting on the couch with RedSox. I got up to pace around, maybe pause for a second in the kitchen or someplace... but the second I stood up, RedSox hit the pause button.

He hates it when I miss parts of any show or movie, so he'll pause everything until I return... but pausing results in silence. I don't like silence, especially if what I'm about to do might not be silent.

So I turned right around and sat back down. He felt confused. I told him my stomach was hurting so I wanted to pace around a bit. His reply was "ok, LET'S pace!"

He followed me to his bedroom, and I was in soooo much pain because I was holding it all in. My body is pleading with me to let it rip, but mind is screaming "NO FARTING in front of others!!"

I finally told RedSox I think I might have gas and he offered to leave the room so I could fart. And that's when my body decided to relax and wait it out... even my own GI tract felt embarrassed for me.

We went back to watch Entourage and I took the other couch with a blanket in tow... and after a few minutes by myself under the blanket I released the anger within. It felt good. It was silent, and I didn't smell anything!

Maybe one day I'll feel comfortable, but I dunno when... if ever. In the meantime, I'll ponder purchasing one of these for any other gassy moments.
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