Overheard on Craigslist 9/16

I'm think I might start a new series of posts where I pick out of the funny lines I read on craigslist and just comment on them. I'd also love to hear what you all think of what these men looking for women were thinking when they put together a sentence.

I'm not gay. I just like Rainbows DAMMIT!
but... isn't it kinda gay to like rainbows? I mean it makes sense if you're in pre-school, but by your 20s (or teens) I would have hoped you picked a color to focus on.

May God strike me down and fart on my face.
I'm pretty sure God doesn't have any bowel movements or abdominal sounds. If he decides to fart on your face, I hope you're ready... it's going to be much stronger than solar wind.

I work crazy hours and see even crazier things so I want a girl who can just be someone to talk to.
So let me get this straight. You're hardly ever going to see me but when you do, it will be like an episode of the sopranos? Listen, we all need therapy. If you've got a decent insurance plan, you're covered. You probably will spend even less money on therapy than you would trying to impress a chick.

Not looking for anything too serious but not gonna hit and quit either.
Why not? Craigslist is the place to be to hit and quit. That's how I got to try so many restaurants on someone else's dime AND get laid. I love being a predator.