Over the weekend, my friend was visiting from Paris. I haven't seen her in 4 years, so it was wonderful to get together and catch up. She currently works at Plaza Athenee (sp?) in Paris.
For those of you who are Sex & the City fans, it's the hotel where Carrie and the Russian stayed. It's on Avenue Montaigne, which is THE shopping street to be on if you have money. Designer Central!
As she told me about her current job working at the hotel and her last job working as the wingwoman for Alain Ducasse (FAMOUS, AMAZING chef), I felt jealous... EXTREMELY jealous.
I would love to be doing what she is doing. Instead, I'm stuck in a rut, borderline depression if you will. I am flipping out about Step 1, and I have no one I can talk to. No one who will understand.
I just tried talking to ex-boyfriend... he gave me a plan I'm already executing.
Mom will tell me to pray... uh thanks already do.
Friends will ask me if I really want to be a doctor... hurtful and discouraging.
Redsox and Roomate will tell me they are sure I will pass... I hope that means they are using their large bank accounts to pay off the NBME.
The reality is no one could ever tell me something that would make me feel better. I don't want to fail. That is all I can think about. I can't handle failure. It sent me to the hospital in college with alcohol poisoning. God only knows what failure could do to me now.
I think I'm losing it... hell I've been lost for a while now.
Tuesday, 10 April 2007
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