Tomorrow the first

Tomorrow will be the first day of the worst year of my life.

I'm reading all these blogs filled with resolutions, highights, things to look forward to. I haven't read a single blog dreading the new year. Allow me to be the first.

I've mentioned all the reasons in some way before, but for those just now tuning I'll recap.

January 2007, I will start my last semester in the lecture hall. It's great because I hate memorizing all this medical stuff I most likely will never have to know after June 2007. It's bad because this is the majority of the material to know for the USMLE step 1.

That brings me to Step 1, the most important exam of my life. The exam that determines my future, possibly my happiness. The exam that might destroy my ego and take down my self-worth and confidence for kicks as well. I will take the exam on June 15th, 2007. I received my prep books from Kaplan back in August. Amazon JUST shipped the 2007 version of First Aid to me.

Once the exam is over, I go straight into the hospital where I am everyone's bitch, the bottom of the totem pole. Nurses will own me. I'll be on call. If I show up to work at 4am with alcohol on my breath, I'll have to sleep with the chief resident to make sure I don't get in trouble. There are no McDreamy doctors. TV lies to us.

Did I mention I'm dating a great guy? Yeah RedSox... you've read all about him. Thanks to him, I haven't thought about another guy. I haven't wanted to be with another guy. I get mad when he has to work Saturdays and Sundays instead of spending the day naked in bed with me. I've gone completely psycho girly over this guy, and starting January 2007 I'm going to have to see him less.

My pool of friends has dwindled and might drop to negatives in 2007. It is not so much a bad thing because I understand that lives change and we will always be there for each other. It just sucks that I will have to hang out even less. It sucks that people will move away. It sucks because I will miss them... already do.

Tomorrow most people will start fresh. Most people will tackle their resolutions.

Tomorrow I will make the most of what I have.

Tomorrow I will continue my struggle.

Tomorrow will be no different from today.