Freak-Outs

I would hope it's normal to have freak-outs when you're making a monumental decision.

The proposal was sooner than expected, so i don't think I was mentally prepared for what it means to be engaged.

All of my decisions are now affected by the realization that I have to think for "us" instead of "me."

It's a scary thing to accept this.

So naturally... I freaked out. And it happened at one of my best friend's weddings last week.

I asked NotMexican if he really loved me during the reception... and that upset him so much. Poor timing in retrospect, but I can't predict these things.

He reassured me, but I felt badly into the next day. Unfortunately that made our NYC trip the worst. I couldn't get over my freak out and then everything that could go wrong that day... did.

Everything ended poorly, resulting ultimately in an argument... and we parted, he back to Denver and I back to Boston, in anger.

Normally, that for me would mean the end of a relationship.

Luckily, it resulted in a fresh start.

We talked it out while I was on the greyhound back to Boston and had a great conversation agreeing to disagree and agreeing to work with each other.

I feel even better about our future now because we have excellent communication and make changes as we can to help each other out.

But I'm about to have my next freak out... his impending bankruptcy.