i don't think people like me

here me out

I'm super social and outgoing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE people. I'm good at patient care because I love my patients. I hate the medicine, but I love spending time with them. I also love spending time with my friends... but I have incredible anxiety about it.

I never really revealed that to anyone before.

I'm really good at superficial relationships, almost too good. But in depth... not so much. And while I think I get away with it, I'm fairly certain I don't. I don't get invited to anything that involves depth: book clubs, intimate lunches, small gatherings. I do get invited to superficial events: massive parties, house-warmings, baby showers, open bars...

It's something I've struggled with my entire life. I'm very good at hiding the hurt because the big parties come quite often, but once in a while when I'm home alone and I just wanna go out... and I don't have anyone to call...

Well yeah... it sucks.

I called my doctor the other day to ask for help with this and she gave me a number to call. I just called... they're closed until monday. That's 3 days of emptiness.

sux