Versus

The RedSox break-up has been occupying my mind 24/7. I have talked it out with my sister, friends and my therapist.

There's a lot of right vs. wrong, guilt vs. innocence, wants vs. needs, obligations vs. aquiescence.

When I told RedSox I wanted to be alone my intern year but I still wanted for us to continue normally, I was being extremely selfish. When he brought up my trysts with other men, I wanted out. He still wanted in, and I agreed.

Now I'm feeling suffocated. He wants to hang out every single night, and I agree to it. He is a lot more clingy and it's annoying as hell... but I allow it.

I told my therapist I wanted to rip the band-aid and end it, but I felt doing so would be letting myself off the hook while he suffers. Friends think RedSox is clinging to me for dear life with some fantasy hope that I will change my mind.

My cousin pretty much called me an a$$hole for staying with him. OleMiss told me I date pansies and he would have gone ape$hit on me and dumped me.

I know most of you will advise that I do what I want/feels right... but nothing really does at the moment.