When I was about 12 years old I really wanted to go to the Stone Temple Pilots concert. My mom said no, and I threw a fit. I had a bad temper growing up, but I don't remember much of it. I just remember that at this particular moment my blood boiled beyond control and I felt palpitations. The chest pain scared the crap outta me and I made the decision to change my attitude.
Over time I dropped the anger bit, choosing a "No Worries" attitude. Sure the anger would occasionally flare, but it quickly died after I took a deep breath and said, No Worries.
Yesterday with my anger about my father, I had a hard time trying to control it. When my parents picked me up for the party I acted like nothing had happened. The whole car ride to the party, he was extremely irritated, yelling at my mom for her driving, yelling at other drivers.
I've known all along that I get my temper from him, and yesterday we were both a little less in control of it. It was a little bit awkward but we all just wanted to feel normal.
Towards the end of the party I made my move. I didn't yell though. In fact I barely got any words out. I started crying almost immediately after my first sentence, and all I could say was "Please."
I went to the bathroom and got control of myself. We finished up the party and went home. Right before I got outta the car, I tried again. I started crying, but I controlled it better and got out everything I needed to say.
"Dad, I'm convinced you had a TIA. It's a baby stroke, but nonetheless it's a STROKE. You need to get on the treadmill for 30 minutes every day and take care of yourself for us. Mom needs you. Sister needs you. I need you. You do this for us. Please. I'm sorry I don't say I love you everyday but I do. Live for us."
It was tough and I hope it hit home with him. He may not be the best example of a human being, but he is a great father. He makes money grow on trees. He gives us whatever we want (after a bit of a fight). He takes care of the family.
He needs to give me many more years of No Worries or I'll be pissed.
Sunday, 6 April 2008
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