He asked for it

Ducky (think Pretty in Pink) is having a hard time with dating. He meets a girl. They go out on a date. The night goes really well and then he asks her, "wanna go out again?" She says yes. The next day or so later he asks about the weekend. She can't and suggests the next week, but then cancels. Ultimately, there is no second date.

Ducky wants to know why this keeps happening to him, so he asks me to go out on a mock date with him and follow-up with complete honesty about the evening. I am not to spare his feelings or anything.

The other night we met for dinner at a new restaurant called Bouchee. After living in Paris for 3 months, I have yet had the opportunity to re-create my brasserie experiences.

Bouchee is probably the closest I'll get to Parisian dining, but only if one sits upstairs. I made a reservation for 7:30, but ducky called at 7 to say he was running late. I pulled out my mental notebook to start taking notes. I pushed the reservation back to 8pm and arrived on time. Ducky wasn't there.

Five cell phone attempts went straight to voicemail. I texted once. Notebook. I finally decided to let the polite hostess seat me. She took me upstairs and gave me a seat over-looking Newbury. Ducky finally called to ask what the address was. Notebook.

I waited a good 5 minutes. In the meantime I grilled my server on his knowledge of the wine list. He did everything a standard waiter should do: Give the bare details of the wines by glass, assuring me that all were excellent choices. I went for an alsacian reisling.

Ducky showed up at the table right as I ordered the wine. He was still in his work clothes. Frumpy khakis with a button down tucked in. Notebook. He sat down across from me, and the date began.

We started by getting to know eachother, talking about things we had in common etc etc... standard date stuff. He is a great conversationalist, very comfortable talking to me. I asked him about his dating for the past year. What kind of girl? What did you do? What did you talk about? How did the evenings end? What was the follow-up?

Half-way through the meal, I gave my report.

I told Ducky that he really doesn't do anything "wrong." Everything he told me sounded like things went well on the date, but unfortunately the girl was just not that into him. I gave him a little bit of advice, maybe a bit of a lesson in manners.

1. Show up on time... especially after you have set a NEW meeting time.

2. Dress up a bit. Show that you are excited to be on this date. Do not come in work clothes. Update your style.

3. Try not to put so much pressure on the date. Take it as a grain of salt. Whatever happens, happens. No expectations generally equals no worries.

4. If you decide you'd like to see the girl again, try ending the evening without asking "do you want to go out again?" That question puts a little pressure on us women, and most of us will say yes just to be polite. Instead tell us you had a great time and that you'll be in touch.

Ducky found some of my advice helpful, but some offensive. He took everything I said into consideration for his future dating, but I could sense that he really was not happy with some of my criticism. We parted with a cold vibe, but hey... He asked for it.