Grieving for Singledom

When people talk about grief, it's often over the loss of a loved one. But haven't we all gone through the Kubler-Ross stages of grief when we lost our favorite clothing item or had to let go of a past relationship?

The realization that I'm in a serious, lifelong relationship is creeping up on me, and I'm grieving the loss of my single life.

I know most women hate being single, but I LOVED IT. I absolutely LOVED dating, getting to know someone, getting hit on by guys and giving them my number, not caring where things went because there would always be the next guy... I'll stop now as I realize I'm beginning to brag.

Sorry.

A few nights ago, I went to a social event with friends. We were hanging out, drinking, meeting new people... and this attractive (BLOND) guy came over and started chatting with us. He was chatting it up with my friend first and I chatted with his friend. Then we switched, and he and I were having fun conversation.

I wasn't thinking too much of it until he asked me if I was single or engaged because he couldn't tell with my finger. (I have a tendency to flap my hands all over the place while talking, so good luck focusing on my fingers). I told him I was engaged and conversation continued as normal... or so I thought.

A few minutes later he told us he was gonna find his friends. I leaned over to my girl-friend and told her that if I wasn't engaged, he would soooo be my type. She said he was clearly dissapointed to learn I wasn't available.

It didn't hit me until someone else said it, but I actually felt sad when I got home. He totally would have asked me out, and we would probably have dated for a good while... I felt depressed.

Here I am alone in Boston while my fiance takes care of things across the country. I miss him all the time and am totally faithful, but man this non-single life is really starting to get to me.

Thankfully, NotMexican and I talked it out a couple days later. It probably wasn't the most exciting stuff for him to hear from me, but he was incredibly supportive and assured me that all will be well. Our distance will only make us stronger when we're finally together.

Man I hope so...