M.D.

I graduated yesterday. It was kind of a surreal moment. The past 4 years were quite possibly the worst years of my life. I have felt very little aside from anger, and I just couldn't find a way to diffuse it.

Yesterday, after I received my poster-size diploma I think I finally felt some relief. Though I have many fears about my future, this gigantic piece of paper is Tufts telling me they believe in me.

I wish my parents believed in me though. I think that's where a lot of my anger is sourced. My mom wanted to meet the president of the hospital at the graduation because she was "the person who got me in." That night at a dinner party, my father thanked the chief of radiology for "letting me into their residency program."

My parents are pretty pissed with me at the moment because I've been doing a lot of things without telling them. I secured my apartment in Denver without telling them. I keep making plans in Boston without telling them.

I bought my ticket to Denver for June 1st. I don't even have to be there until June 15th. When my mom asked me why, I lied and said it was to get to know the area. She knows the reality is I can't get away from them fast enough.

I'm trying to channel all of this negative energy into something positive, though. For one, I'm refreshing my memory like crazy to do well for my patients because I get my first patient on June 22nd. Second, I am going to learn spanish. In Peru, I realized I understand the language a lot more than I realized, so it's time to be able to speak back.

Every end has it's new beginning, which will hopefully be better.

Medical school is over. I know I already feel better.

Thank. You. God.