My Uterus is being a Bitch

I know I should love my uterus. I did for a long time, but recently she's been causing a ton of problems for me... such as cock-blocking.

I've been cock-blocked before. It happened my sophmore year of college.

After a sorority formal, OF COURSE I was going to hook up with my date. He was a blond hottie. I was the envy of every sorority sister, but none of them wanted to cock-block me. They had every intention of hooking up with their own dates. I actually received several congratulations for the evening I was supposedly going to have.

When we got back to school after the formal, the bus dropped us off at a different dorm. His best friend lived there, so we said hello. There were a few girls hanging out, including this one chick Lyn.

I didn't know Lyn very well, but every encounter had been casual and pleasant. I didn't feel threatened by her at all. I was in better shape and far more attractive. There goes my ego again... sorry.

I was very excited that I was going to hook-up with Blond Boy, and I shared my joy with Lyn. She twitched a bit, but I disregarded it as Tourettes.

Blond Boy was ready, and we decided to head out. Out of nowhere, Lyn announces that she'd like to hang out more and COMES WITH US. Like a drunken fool, I assumed she lived in Blond Boy's dorm and just wanted to walk with us. I missed the whole "hang out" part.

So we're back in Blond Boy's room... and she's kinda just there. I announce that I am exhausted and jump into bed. Blond Boy agrees. So does Lyn, but she doesn't leave. In fact, SHE JUMPS INTO BED WITH US!!

Needless to say, she killed my buzz. Now I was pissed. Blond Boy and I couldn't do anything. He got up to go to the bathroom. I got up and left. He calls me the next morning asking where I went, and I told him I couldn't hang out there with Lyn around. He assured me they didn't hook up, but I could care less. I wanted MY hook-up. For the first time in my life, I was cock-blocked! And I was beyond mad.

But I'm not one to act in anger....

The following weekend I tagged Blond Boy at a party and marched him straight back to his place. We had a fabulous hook-up... another keg tapped and kicked.

The next morning I saw Lyn and asked her about her hook-up with Blond Boy the week prior. She admitted nothing happened. I told her that's too bad because he rocked my world last night... suck on that bitch.

And now my uterus has decided to cock-block me... but I went to an ID doc today. I'll see my gyno in a few days, and I've made an appointment with the oncologist in a few weeks.

Clearly, I don't fuck around... bitch.