Church or No church?

Decisions have mostly been finalized.

TINY wedding ceremony March 17th, 2012. St. Patty's day.

Indian wedding reception second weekend in June at some place in Worcester, MA. (I have no intention of getting involved with that planning).

American wedding reception in June at Hammond Castle in Gloucester, MA.


So far, I've only done the planning for the wedding ceremony and it hasn't been that easy. Ideally, I'd like to gather the family in a private room at Ruths Chris and do a quick I do I do, then eat steak!

Ruths Chris has a minimum bill requirement which I think may be CRAZY high.
The pastor I wanted is unavailable.

The church I regularly attend will do the ceremony at Ruths Chris, but strongly suggests I just do it at the church and then walk around the corner to Ruths Chris with a reservation for a table for 15 instead.

It might be cheaper. Once we get a decent count of who can come, I'll make the decision.

As far as the wedding sari, the indian tailor in Cambridge has not called me back.

I'm annoyed.

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Commenting Issues

Has anyone else had problems leaving comments on other peoples blogs?

I'm not sure the exact reason, but when i downloaded google chrome the problem went away.

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Parental Pre-wedding Drama; part 3

So my mother needs to have a reception for all of her coworkers, and she wants to have it at the Harvard Club. I asked why not a restaurant since her coworkers are only approximately 20 people, including their spouses.

She then clarified that she will be inviting closer to 80 people. So... practically half of the radiology department.

My parents continued to talk about their plans/ideas as if I wasn't there, when I nearly shat a brick and asked if they thought about NotMexican's family or friends.

That shut em up... because THEY HAD NOT.

My mother then quickly chimed in, "well that's why we should have the wedding followed by a reception in Colorado. They can go to that... and we'll invite everyone there too."

I had to remind my parents that I specifically did not want a wedding ceremony. Part of the reason I became a radiologist is so I could sit down all day... this includes NOT standing at an alter longer than 5 minutes.

I also asked if they thought about the exhaustion of a 5 hour flight each way across 2 times zones for one event.

There was more argument against the Colorado reception which I can't remember, but they finally agreed it wasn't a good idea.

Notmexican's family and friends and MY friends (also not factored into the planning) are invited to my mother's "American" reception.

A summary of the 2.5 hour dinner. My parents went from questioning the marriage to planning 3 major events. After much argument, headache, stress and heartache... the wedding is a go.

St. Patty's courthouse/Justice of the Peace, Indian reception likely in May and the American reception likely in June.

God help me.

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Parental Pre-wedding Drama; part 2

So after it was decided that NotMexican and I will definitely be getting married next year, the conversation went from 0 to 1000mph in less than 1 second to discuss the reception... actually receptions... pleural.

My father already picked the venue for the Indian reception. He already has the guest invite list. He would like to have Indian dancers, a Belly dancer, a Dj, AND... wait for it... a magician.

I nearly cut a bitch.

I yelled in the middle of the restaurant "ARE YOU RETARDED? Nobody has a magician at a wedding! This is a WEDDING, not a kid's birthday party or a carnival!"

My mom jumped in and firmly squashed the magician.

Though then my mother took over the conversation, saying that she'll need to have a separate reception... because my mother has a whole separate plan.

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Parental Pre-wedding Drama, Part 1

So tonight was a difficult evening.

My mom told me about a month ago that my dad wanted to go to dinner to talk to me without NotMexican. I assumed this was about a pre-nuptial agreement, but my mom kept saying she didn't know why... for a month she didn't know why.

I chose not to dwell on this and went into the dinner assuming we would be talking pre-nup.

So the first drama of the dinner:
Dad's reason for wanting to talk. Ready?

"I see only 2 reasons for you to get married next year.
1. You both are going to be living in the same city shortly after the wedding.
2. You're gonna have a kid shortly after the wedding.
Otherwise, why not wait until 2015?"

I don't know how you read the above, but I interpreted it as they don't like my future husband. Did I jump the gun with assumptions? Absolutely!
Am I wrong? I still am not sure.

After a strong back and forth lasting an excruciating 45 minutes, I finally got my father to agree that whether I get married tomorrow or in 20 years, it doesn't matter whether NotMexican and I are in the same city or have any children.

Many married couples live apart for a LONG time. I gave the TRUE example of one of the Thoracic fellows at my hospital who married his wife the last year of medical school and had to spend the next 6 YEARS(including this year) of their marriage apart because they couldn't get their residencies or fellowships to match in the same city. They tried! Just like NotMexican got his great job in Michigan because he was TRYING to find a job in Boston.

Many couples also never have kids. Either they choose not to such as DINKS (dual income, no kids) OR they try and try and use medical technology/advancements and CAN'T.

After my amazing arguments, I pried, picked and jabbed with an ice pick to try and break my dad on why he would bring this up. He didn't break. So either these reasons truly were the focus of his questioning my marriage to NotMexican, or he's really good at hiding his true thoughts.

So I told you this took about 45 minutes... well the dinner lasted about another 1.5 hours.

Stayed tuned for how the conversation went from no wedding to possibly THREE wedding events in 2012...

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Not quite a destination if you ask me

I gave NotMexican the task of planning our destination wedding, and by that I mean that I told him to pick the location. After all my plans falling through or getting pooped on, I decided enough is enough.

Since I decided we're going to the courthouse on St. Patty's Day, he needs to decide where we're doing our destination.

He comes back with Mackinaw Island in Michigan and Vancouver Island in BC, Canada.

His argument that these qualify for great destination weddings is that they're both islands.

MY argumentS (pleural, surprise) against them:
1. Not exactly locals that are FAR ENOUGH away for my parent's friends.
2. Not quite paradise.
3. Though I could wear my gucci sandals, I'm not gonna.

Reason #4 and beyond, I'm sure you can imagine...


Your thoughts, or cries of sympathetic agony are welcome.

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An Irish-inspired wedding

Let me explain.

I love to drink.

Don't panic. I did an internship at the Betty Ford Center while I was in medical school. I have no intention of returning as a patient.

But seriously, I LOVE to drink. I love to go out for drinks. I love wine on my roofdeck. I love drinks with the girls. I love after-work drinks. I love a daily glass of wine after a hard day's work.

I love love love it.

10 Years ago when I went to Ireland, I stayed with my friend's Irish family. They watched me drink and asked often "are you sure you're not Irish?"

I started believing I was... or that I should have been

To this day, TEN years later... the family asks me when I'm coming back.

I plan to next March.

I told NotMexican that all the up-in-the-air plans, costs, failed plans, interference with studying, etc was just too much. He agreed.

I told him that I know he wants his friends, I want my friends, My parents want their friends, I don't want my parents friends... it just won't be perfect and I accept that. He agreed.

The only thing that matters to me is the marriage, and we've been working hard on ourselves and each other as individuals. (Therapy last week was amazing).

So decision time:

Date of marriage will be March 17th, 2012. St. Patrick's Day, either at a courthouse or justice of peace or whatever. Immediately followed by dinner at Ruth's Chris' then getting on a plane to Ireland!

Wedding party for my parents friends. Who cares... not my interest.

Wedding party for our friends... likely August of next year. Country to be determined.

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